


Cats, Dogs, and, Birds Oh my

by Lazymoon



Series: One Shots [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Anbu Hatake Kakashi, Anbu Iruka, Blood, Crazy jonin, Gen, Jonin try and help someone with emotions, Medic Iruka Umino, Throwing down with wind jutsus., do they succeed? who knows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-11
Updated: 2018-02-11
Packaged: 2019-03-16 14:58:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13638582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lazymoon/pseuds/Lazymoon
Summary: Iruka Umino doesn't want to be back in Anbu but when he doesn't have a choice he'll do it for them, in the end, it's always for them (After all putting an unknown medic on a team of paranoid ninja is not a good idea.)Or Iruka Unimo is one of Tsunade's best Medics who ranked for A-level combat who hides behind his maskOr People should respect one another both in and out of their masks. (not Gai, Gai's a special snowflake who respects everyone.)





	Cats, Dogs, and, Birds Oh my

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as a shipfic but ended as gen you can tell halfway through.

* * *

 

 

**“Take a breath, spit out the blood in your mouth and get back up on your feet. You still got a few motherfuckers to prove wrong.”**

 

* * *

 

“She’s not ready for the field Iruka. If she was I’d be sending her.” Tsunade takes a breath, looking at the ninja in front of her. “I know you hate these missions but it doesn’t change the fact that they have to be done.”

Iruka Umino someone who most people know as a simple chunin teacher, someone who isn’t cut out for the ninja life. A permeant chunin, no hope of being any type of threat. Is standing before the Senju Kage with his arms crossed, back arched towards the door. Staring down his leader with a crude glare that most chunin would too scared of the woman to do.

“You’re reinstating me then?” His tone is dead, unfitting to his kind persona.

“For a few missions, only until Sakura is truly A-level combat ready.” Tsunade sips her third cup of sake.

“The last two teams we sent out, recon and retrieval have not made it back they need someone who can heal them if it gets bad.”

“You know very well that a few missions are never truly just a few. It’s how I got roped back in last time.” Iruka sighs exasperatedly as he moves to sit relaxing his stance taking the chair before his Kage. “There are more healers are they’re not?”

“Not that they trust, Ru. You stayed for Cat and Crow. You know very well you could have let them die on that mission.” Grabbing a cup from her sake drawer, and setting it in front of her companion before draining hers. “They trust you, they know what you can do. Putting an unknown healer on the team is too much of a risk.”

“Living through suicide mission is what I’m known for Sensei.” Iruka takes the bottle Tsunade hands him moving in quick movement pouring her a cup, then handing it back watching as she does the same for him, a well-oiled motion. “That’s why you picked me, no need to cover that up.”

“Yet, people still bitch when I send you out on one.” She lets out a soft chuckle. A smile spreads across Iruka’s face in response.

“I always come back, but I think they worry one day I won’t.” He laughs, after quickly downing his cup feeling It burn the inside of his throat. “Besides Hound used to say I was the only lucky person in Anbu. That it was impossible for me not to come back in one piece.”

Tsunade downs hers then pours herself another, offering the bottle to Iruka pulling the bottle back when she gets a shake of his head.

“To your safe return.” Tsunade raises her cup and dipping her head towards him.  
A second later Tsunade is alone, the door is open and her guards pokes their head into the room.

“Tsunade-sama?” Kotetsu asks gently.  
“Why must we always have to send the good ones to their deaths, answer me that.” Tsunade lets out a shaking breath as she fills her cup once more staring at the empty space, cheeks pink as the drinks start to hit her. “It’s always the ones who could do so much.”

Kotetsu and Izumo share a quick glance with one another then wisely shut the door giving their kage some much-needed space.

* * *

  
    A few hour later, a mismatched Anbu Unit sets off but not with their share of comments towards Owl’s presence of course and at first, the silence is tense no matter how many missions they’ve run together in the past (if Owl is here, they know it is going to be bad.)

“I am glad you are doing well Owl-sama!” Anbu Turtle, his voice is soft but still holds the same sincerity in it that he does when he's unmasked watching Owl walk towards him and his parnter. Taking note of the way, they are dressed and squaring his shoulders.

“And you Turtle-san.” Iruka bows his head gently in recognition.

“I thought you were benched.” Crow is leaning on a tree eyeing the two others.

“Not benched Crow-kun, simply working behind the scenes.” Iruka makes a quick gesture to Crow who he knows to be a friend forcing him to drop it.

“You aren’t our leader the scroll would have said if you were.” Turtle looks his fellow Anbu up and down once more. “You have that weapon,” nodding his head towards the fairly large black umbrella on his Juniors back. “It is that type of mission Owl?”

With a Seldom nod, Owl speaks. “Cat is team leader this time.” Turning his head to the side, as he hears a soft ruffle of leaves signaling that Cat has finally joined them as well as another unexpecting member, hound.

“Owl, Turtle, Crow. We have a last-minute change to our team formation. My deepest apologies.” Cat’s voice holds steady, as he turns to face his team member. Finally holding himself like a leader Iruka notes, as he bowed his head in return.

“No problem, _Captain_.” Iruka, smiles beneath his mask as he watches Cat stutter at the title.

“That’s good then _Doctor_.” Hound chimes in for student as he regains his composer earning himself a small chuckle from the other members as well as the doctor in question.

“Shall we go?” Cats speak up back into his quiet tone, making Iruka sigh.  
“At your lead.” Iruka nods to him once more, before they ready themselves for what is ahead.

* * *

  
   The soft skillful sound of their feet hitting the trees is the only thing that fills the near-dead forest, a once lush place is now nothing but a corpse in its wake. Blood and dirt kicked up and pushed against the base of the trees, like someone had been dragged, struggling.  
With a silence hand Cat, halts his team. Stopping in the basic protective format each one just far enough away that they can see one another.

  With a flick of his wrist Cat gestures for them to leave the trees, giving them the sigh for ‘Safe.’  
“Hound, Owl you have the ground, Turtle you check the tree and Crow you’re with me we’ll be around meet back here with your finds.” Cat nods his head towards Crow then Turtle. “If you are confronted, get our attention.” The others nod, before setting off to their duties.

 “It smells like salt, sulfur. This blood isn’t dry yet either.” Hound spoke into ear Owl’s a bit too close for any friendly confront.

  Owl smiles under his mask, crouching to meet the tracks moving a gloved hand rubbing the blood between his thumb and his index. It is fresh, less than 2 hours. They couldn’t have gotten very far with these types of injuries even if they were dragged.

 “They couldn’t have gotten far. What Injuries do you think could have caused this much bleeding?” hound steps back letting his partner work.

“A neck wound, would not allow this much struggling and a stomach wound should stop the person from moving altogether. Maybe they hit an artery in the arm the marks look like they were made in a pained motion.” Owl pointed to the claw marks to the base of the tree moving towards the mid-section.

  “They must have been standing upwards at first.” Hound hums, gesturing to the trees around the middle one which seemed to have taken the main force of the damage. “The splattering could not have been caused if they weren’t running when they were stuck.”

 “It could have been an external force. The blood could not have been theirs” Owl said bemused with how they could have gotten away if this was indeed their targets blood.

 “How would this much blood come from an external force?” Hound asked quietly.

“Mist shinobi could be capable of this.” Owl hums thoughtfully.

“I’ve never heard of someone expelling the blood from another living being body, someone with the power to do that would have a bounty.” Hound said quietly.

“Not everyone makes powers like these known, most liquid based Blood limits go unnoticed by the simple fact that most people can move water with Chakra and some simple hand seals.” Owl stands, looking towards the tracks.

“You’re saying anyone could use blood like this if there was a lot of it,” Hound asks.

“Yes, but you can see why not many people try it,” Owl replies grimly.  
The conversation is cut off by The Flare of Turtle’s Chakra with Crows not far behind they found the target. Hound and Owl were off, making their way to their comrades with a worried air about them as they fell through the trees keeping a calm mind and a calm body were two different things and you can have one without the other.

The Pulses of Chakra could only mean two things, the fight had begun and they need back up fast.  
Iruka flicks out his umbrella blades hissing, holding his pace as the trees begin the fade into a clearing.  
The Scent of blood is hard on Hounds nose, the clearing is full of pools of blood like some kind of sacrifice ground, people are on pikes civilians and Shinobi alike are bleeding out the scent of blood filling the air, the rain had clouded the scent, as well had the blood trail it did a good job of hiding just how much there was.

Crow and Turtle are back to back, facing a barrage of clones that seem to be oozing red. Neither of them show signs of injury. (Thank god for small blessings.) Cat is being held by his neck over a pit it of some kind, the dirt fresh. A tall lanky (Man?) with bones sticking out an unnatural angle, seems to be disconnected from the joints. He’s covered from head to toe in blood that doesn’t seem to be his. He looks like something out of a civilian horror film.

“It seemed more have joined the Party.” He tosses Cat aside violently; his voice distorted almost inhuman.

“He rushed us.” Turtle coughs out, holding his fist leveled, keeping his distance from the clones. “Just as we got into the clearing.”

“You are on my land. I shall take your blood as payment. The one with the blood of a sapling will do.” With one hand sign, Cat is sent underground.

“This land belongs to that of Fire country.” Owl takes a small step forward, parasol resting on his shoulder, hand gripping the handle tightly. “Not to whoever the likes of you are, you seem to have enough blood on your hands.”

“To be told that by a bunch of faceless Shinobi. You all might have just as much blood on your hands as I do mine.” Raising his hand in challenge towards owl. The grin on his face is so unnaturally wide that it cracks the flesh around his lips. “If you want to fight for this land then so be it, I gave you the choice to go” he sinks into the earth.

“He’s moving!” Owl hisses. “If we knew a Hyuga this would be easier.” Baring his teeth beneath the mask.

“I’ll get Cat. Get the clones.” Hounds dashes to Cat’s last location. “And we don’t know a Hyuga.”

“Watch the ground!” Launching himself from the trees, into the clones. Popping one the blood busting, burning like acid on the skin. Holding the Parasol in front of him, effective covering both himself, Turtle and Crow. “Fuck.” He hisses, as the blood spatters burn through his selves. “The Blood from the clones are like Acid, Brace yourselves.”

Owl grips the base of the umbrella, the wind seals inlayed in the wood coming to life and blasting the remaining two clones a good distance away from them. “Turtle help Hound and Cat, Crow keep at the distance we’ll fight them at range.” Crow wordlessly falls in with Owl.

“Doton: Chidōkaku.” Hound finishes the hand signs, raising Cat out of the earth. Turtle held steady him.

“Wher-“Cat coughs up some blood-stained dirt.

“Undergrou—“Hound throws Cat and Turtle out of the way just in time, as a hand wraps itself around the base of his neck, holding him a few centimeters from solid ground.

“Oh, my. How noble, saving your teammates before yourself.” Aiming with his left arm, and driving a protruding bone into hound’s gut.

“No noise? Disappointing.” He digs the bone deeper, senbons stick themselves into his open back, moving just enough that they don’t hit his neck.  
Crow and Owl, are cover in the blood that is burning through their clothes and, skin. Turtle and Cat, weapons drawn and hands ready.

“Four against one is hardly fair,” He hisses, throwing Hound into a dried pool of blood.

“I believe your victims would have the same thought.” Turtle counters, hands at the ready.

“Aim for the head!” Owl hisses. “Unless he’s immortal it’ll kill them.” Running to Hound’s side, placing his hands on the wound. Hands glowing, with medical, chakra.

“And it’s down to 3.” He laughs, making his voice sound distorted and wrong.  
Making a move to strike at Turtle, only to be blocked by a solid piece of wood.  
Hound’s first mask is displaced, but the one below it is still intact no giving anything that wasn’t already known, the sound of him choking on his own blood is horrifying but nothing Owl hadn’t heard before.  
His guts are slipping out, and the look in his eyes he doesn’t believe he’ll make it.

“If you give up on yourself then there’s nothing I can do.” Forcing his hands into the familiar Mystic Palm Jutsu, using his non-poisoned senbons to keep some organs in their places. Taking a flask from his coat pocket using the water in it to release to encase the wound in a protective bubble.  
Blade clash against bone and the sickening slosh of blood spills against the wet ground over the already half-dried blood.  
Wood release, mixed with hard-hitting taijutsu is pushing the man farther and farther from their injured comrade.

Crow is throwing his projectiles from a good distance away aiming for the pressure points only to have them reflected back at him by moving bone. (He dodges them effortlessly.)  
“I’m a member of Kaguya clan.” He hisses out, finally getting flustered. “Do you think some silly nameless, Anbu can take me down?” Taking aim at Cat’s head, he growls sounding almost feral. “You don’t reply, you don’t have the courage to speak? Cowards.”  
  
Pulling the bones from the upper parts of his arms extending his reach as he forces his shoulders to hunch into his skin. Making him look even more of a beast, as the bones stick out of his hands leaving the skin to drape over his forearms.  
Crow forces himself not to gag, he looks horrifying (like a nightmare in human form, he muses to himself.) He l holds his shoulders steady as he keeps his point in front of Owl, covering Cat and Turtle from behind.

“Perhaps I should have taken out the Medic first.” The Kaguya laughs, eyes narrowing on Owls turned back.  
Owl, finishes the quick patch on Hounds skin (It’s still red and harsh looking, almost still bleeding but it’s better than gapping holds in the stomach.) Rapping some bandages over his abdomen quickly.  
Hound jaw tight under his masks, hands gripping his Kunai and he keeps his eyes ahead of Owl trained on the Kaguya.

“Still no reaction, even when I threaten your medic? Konoha trains their Anbu well. Your emotions are hidden behind masks. Maybe removing them will do the trick.” Circling threateningly around the two Anbu, he makes a move for Cat then changes his foot and bypassing Turtle and Cat lunging at Crow.  
Grabbing him by the masked face, he smiles sickly sweetly (It doesn’t fit his face what so ever.) “Now let’s see whats under here Mmh?” Crow struggles, forcing senbon and a few kunai into the man’s arms as well as taking a blind swing at his stomach.  
Before Kaguya can throw him, owl uses his parasol to send the man flying with enough force he knocks down a few trees as he barrels into them.  
Crow is masked less, brown hair matted to his head with sweat. He’s lacking his bandana.

“Hound, Please keep from straining the skin on your stomach too badly.”

“So, the umbrella’s not just for show, Medic-san” Kaguya, laughs bitter from where he lay unmoving indented at the base of a tree.

“Captain?” Owl asks uncertainly.

“Support, Crow from afar. Attack if one of us goes down again.” Cat answers as he draws his Tanto. Standing defensively next to Hound and Turtle.  
Owl replies with a curt nod.  
“How would you like this to end Anbu-san.” Kaguya stands, fixing the placement of his bones.

“In our favor,” Genma-Crow replies bitterly.

* * *

  
   It was a bloody mess, both Turtle and Hound got they’re masked ripped off (Leaving only Cat and Owl to have their face covered.) before they could cut off one of his arms. Pinning the other one to the ground with a mixture of 12-inch long senbon and some larger kunai. Even with that, the bones still moved sticking out at odd angles like a porcupine. (It caught Cat in one of his legs before we noticed that the arms weren’t quite dead yet.) Turtle crushed his legs into pure bone dust just to make sure he couldn’t pull any more tricks.

  Owl and Genma had to jump into the brunt of the fight, once when Turtle was sent into the ground. Holding point with Hound so Cat could free him from the Earth. Crow was the only member who was uninjured. (That man knew how to dodge.)

  The Kaguya clan member lay dead, his head apart from his body with a quick slash from Cat’s tanto.  
Owl, looks from one team member to another scanning for injuries. (Noting that there are many, but he reminds himself it could always be worse.)

 “He killed our original target,” Genma calls, from his spot looking at the contents of the body pits. “As well as some of our boys.” He says bitterly.

 “Crow, Turtle deal with the bodies If they have our headband or tattoo seal them in a scroll same with the Kaguya. Let the cleanup crew deal with the rest” Nodding at them “We’ll set up a camp Nearby. Come find us when you’re done. Owl, your chakra levels and your injuries?”

 “A stab wound aimed for a shoulder hit my wrist and a few scarps from projectiles. Chakra level at two thirds.” He breathes. “You captain have it much worse, same with Turtle and Crow. Hound was patched up mid-battle but It is already bleeding through his bandages. He was nearly disemboweled and Crow needs a new mask. We will not be traveling tonight.” The familiar no-nonsense teaching tone drones on, eyeing hound and cat under his masks. (He can’t even count the times they’ve tried to keep going while injured, frankly a bit testing at times.)

 Owl moves over to Cat, putting one of his arms around his shoulders to hold him steady.

“Hound, keep pressure on the wounds. Do not allow your guts to be slipped again. I cannot guarantee I can put them all back in the right place again. Captain do not even think about walking, you have a hole in your leg.” Owl huffs as Cat tenses under his grip before he nods slowly.

 “I can summon my ninken, to take watch.” Hound offers quietly, hands gripping his stomach to sedate the medic (A angry medic is a dangerous medic, he’s already learned his lesson. He likes being able to move freely thank you very much.)

 “You have no need to summon any of yours.” Owl holds Cat up with his shoulder. “I’ll be first watch.”  
Setting up camp was less eventful then burning bodies but more pleasant than the other for sure.  
Hound has his back against a large rock with Cat a few feet away from him, Owl is patching up Turtle’s wounds, (“The blood was burning through his armor, his skin too the worst hit. I’ll heal myself when all you were taken care of.” Hound is starting to think he won’t ever heal himself. he can feel the younger man’s chakra draining.)

  Genma is setting up the perimeter with his own special brand of traps (“Hokage-sama has banned me from using them in Konoha for a reason, don’t touch them.” Crow can be vicious when he wants to be)

 “How about we introduce ourselves?” Turtle, keeping his voice low (It’s strange for him, Gai Maito having a low voice. The world might end) “Captain?”

 Genma chimed in “three out of the five total members have gotten their masked ripped from their faces.”

 “How about I go first?” Gai offers.

“We- shouldn’t” Cat tries tiredly.

“Tenzo, they’re right.” Kakashi cuts him off. “They know who I am anyway, it’s only you and Owl who haven’t make yourselves known.”

Cat doesn’t go to remove his mask. “Unlike you senpai, I have respect for other people privacy.” He says, turning his head away from Kakashi.

“I’m hurt kouhai, truly I am. Are you saying I’m nosy?” Kakashi says in mock horror, a hand over his heart.

“Yes.” Tenzo deadpans.

“I’m Gai Maito” Gai offers.

 “Gai-san I don’t think anyone could not know who you are.” Owl huffs, moving from his seat in front of Gai, starting to heal his own wounds at last.

“Genma Shiranui.”

“Kakashi Hakate.”

“The copy-nin and a man who spits senbons? You are both quite well-known jonin in the public eye.” Owl replies bitterly.

“Tenzo.” Tenzo sighs, finally pulling off the first part of his mask.

“The only one none of you know is me” Owl states, looking at each their faces. “Tenzo knew Kakashi, Genma new Gai.”

“No one knows you out of Anbu Owl-san. You’re a ghost. No one can find your skill set in a Jonin or even a chunnin for that matter.” Kakashi’s eye crinkles as he smiles at owl. “And until now the Hokage as stopped anyone from even trying to get to know you.”

“I-I, how long have you been planning this? Genma is that why you didn’t dodge.” Owl asks, at a loss for words.

“That was a happy accident.” Genma denies.  
Owl huffs, turning his head away.

“Owl-san you’ve saved our lives many times, you are the most youthful friend even when you watch in the shadows. Yet you sound so weary, we only wish to help” Gai offers the medic a bright smile, and nods his head.

“Crazy Jonin, I have enough of you in my day job,” Owl mutters under his breath, placing one hand flat on his mask and gently tugs it off.  
“Iruka Umino.” Iruka eyes, Genma who is the only one who is gapping at him in shock.  
“Now don’t you feel better Ru?” Genma says cheekily."looks like Rai was right about something."

“That’s not how peer pressure works, no I don’t think I do.” Iruka slips his mask back over his face resting his head in his arms.

“Do me a favor and make my day Job easier.” Iruka mumbles.

“If it makes you feel any better it’s my real handwriting. I can’t fake that.” Kakashi offers quietly.

“I won’t use anymore glitter?” Gai smiles at the desk worker.

“I try Ru, I do.” Genma tries to hold back a laugh.

“Writing with a senbon dipped in ink is not trying Genma.”

* * *

  
      “How many bodies did you take count of?” Tsunade huffs half way through Iruka’s debrief.

“Crow counted at least 25 shinobi of varying origins and when we invested we found civilians from small towns in the area were going missing.” Iruka voice is nothing but professional.

“And did they succeed in finding out who you are.” Keeping her voice level as she slipped that question in the debrief, meeting Iruka’s eye with a badly hidden smile on her face.

“Yes they us-“Iruka’s head eyes snapped into focus, “You harpy of a woman!” He breaths out harshly “ You were in on this!” hissing at her.

“You needed people to talk care of you, you take care of some many people you forget yourself.” Tsunade laughs, her shoulders shaking. “Of course, I let them do it. Sensei was just being too proud with you. You need people.”

“I HAVE people! I teach children! I work in the mission room! I am completely stable!” Iruka Hisses digging his nails into the desk.

“You can tell them that you rearranged someone’s internal organs from the outside,” Her voice is serious.

“you can’t tell children that you’ve probably seen more death then they will in their lifetimes.” Placing a hand on Iruka’s arm.

“You need comrades Iruka, not students’. Comrades.” Tsunade, eyes the door were the rest of his team is waiting outside. “And they need you.”  
Iruka lets a breath out as he sinks into his chair in defeat. “I don’t know I let my mother convince me to become a medic.”

“She told me it wasn’t very hard, I even have pictures of you when you were training with her. All cute dressed up in white.” Tsunade sets up the cups as she pulls out some plum wine.

“Don’t bring that up please, and don’t you have other people to belief Hokage-sama?” Iruka laughs.

“What’s a debief without some wine?” She replies.

“An important one.”  
Iruka fills her cup to the brim when she finishes with his enjoying the scent of the plum and knocking it against hers in a toast.

“Too coming back alive, and personal bonds.” Tsunade offers cheerfully

“To no more missions and nosy people.” Iruka laughs.

"So how's Sakura's Training? Any letters from Naruto?" Iruka asks, placing the cup down with a smile.

"Your Brats are Fine."

 

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the one shot I started writing in December. The only one I've written with an action scene I tried my best with this one.  
> I wanted more Kick ass Iruka so I wrote it myself.  
> Owl just sounds like Iruka I was going to go for a first but at last, I went with Owl.  
> I hope you enjoyed!!  
> -Will


End file.
